Jack Hylton And His Orchestra: Happy Feet

A brief musical interlude. Feel free to quickstep or do the charleston at your leisure. At the very least, eat some Charleston chews!

Charlie Chaplin

To begin your introduction to silent film, start out with Charlie Chaplin. He is the most widely recognized, therefore, the most widely available. The problem with pretalkies is that they are VERY hard to find out in the wild; everyone these days wants mediocre drivel. Don't believe the hype that these films are boring, you just haven't found your silent soulmate yet. Charlie Chaplin is also a great pick for your silent viewing pleasure because he does shorts! So if sitting around watching a two hour and forty minute film where there is no audible dialogue is not your cup of tea, a 15-20 minute short shouldn't be a torture session. Plus, Charlie is entertaining and the cutest ever so building up your tolerance is enjoyable in the process.

Love of silent films comes naturally. Of course, Mr. Chaplin isn't for everyone. So if you aren't feeling him, don't despair! Try Buster Keaton. Although be careful about expressing your undying love for either of these silent comics, there are vehement loathers of one or the other. A divine feud, if you will, such as between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford fans (and the actresses themselves, supposedly).

This film clip comes from 1925's Gold Rush.

Phantom of the Opera (1925)

This was the first silent film I ever watched and it remains one of my favorites! Lon Chaney stars as the titular character, who is way cooler than that lame-ass Gerard Butler in the musical version. Gerard Butler just wore a mask that covered half his face and some putty to aid in the process of making him look ugly. Lon Chaney, on the other hand, actually did some weird things (according to what I've read) to himself to truly get into character. Supposedly for Phantom of the Opera, he wound a wire around his head to get his nose to go up like that. He was also very skilled in applying make-up which earned him the nickname of "The Man With a Thousand Faces." You can regularly catch this film on TCM (Sunday nights are silent nights!). And a little piece of trivia: Lon Chaney's son, Lon Chaney, Jr., went on to act in 1941's The Wolf Man.

Smashing Pumpkins

Look familiar?

A Trip to the Moon (1902)

After reading about this movie FOR YEARS, I can finally say that I watched it.
To learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_trip_to_the_moon

Dream I: Vincent Gallo

Yeah, I know. Vincent Gallo. I have a crush on him because of his nose, don't judge. The dream follows a recurring theme for me: getting caught up doing mundane things while a guy gets irritated that I'm not paying attention to him.
So in this dream I'm standing outside a building waiting with a crowd of people and Vincent Gallo is one of them. We're both dressed like Marlene Dietrich.

For some reason, we start to quietly flirt with each other. We link arms and go inside the building; come to find out, we're there for a lecture on feminist literature. During the lecture, I'm randomly working on a painting with the canvas resting in my lap. Instead of painting with a brush, I'm using the head of a sewing pin.

While attempting to use such a small utensil to make pastel polka dots on my canvas, Vincent Gallo is giving me love letters in pink envelopes. After a while he gets irritated because I have about 3 or 4 envelopes and I haven't opened them yet, I'm holding them in one hand while continuing to paint with the other. Slightly hurt that I'm not reading his handwritten declarations of love, he grows quiet and to make up for it, I put my arts and crafts project away. He forgives me and we put our arms around each other, looking to the speaker of this particular lecture: Simone de Beauvoir is discussing Existential Feminism.

Hedy Lamarr

Hedy Lamarr is heartbreakingly beautiful and intelligent to boot. She is the brains behind the Lamarr-Antheil patent on frequency hopping which allows everyone to talk on their cell phones without someone listening in on the same line (party line, anyone?). Yeah, Hedy Lamarr made it possible for everyone to have the technological goodness of a cell phone. If you want to research her patent, google it, because there are drawings and tons of good stuff to read. And what totally seals the deal for me is this awesome quote of hers: "Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." She has a mouth on her too.

McDonald's McRib

It's delicious. Funny story is I actually used to be a vegetarian .. for 5 1/2 years! I can't go into the story about what changed my mind because I actually don't know what triggered my return to eating meat. One day I wanted to eat a chicken caesar salad and a few months later I was happily ingesting veal stuffed pasta and medium cooked steak. Every now and then I enjoy a vegan or vegetarian themed meal but I am quite content in my flesh and blood revelry of dining on an animal's body. But, yes, I am now a devout follower of the delicious cult that is the McDonald's McRib.